How to Set Healthy Boundaries in your Relationships.
I’m sure we all must have felt uncomfortable with the people who are the closest to us. We have also done things we don’t want just to make people around us happy. Sometimes you may have regretted doing things for the sake of other people because they had unpleasant consequences for you. To avoid feelings as such; it is important to set boundaries in your relationships; both personal and professional. Setting boundaries is a form of self-care. They also help with building trust, comfort in relationships and resolve conflict.
Types of personal boundaries-
- Physical boundaries- You are maybe a person who prefers handshakes over hugs while greeting friends. It is crucial to let your friends- those you value and care about- know what you prefer and more importantly what you don’t prefer. Otherwise it will make you uncomfortable and you might distance yourself from the friend.
- Emotional boundaries- How to say no. There may have been a point when the other person advised you to reconsider the choice you had made for yourself. Do not change the decisions based on how people feel about them. Be sure to recognize that whatever the decisions you have made for yourself, you are not in charge of how others feel. To know if the person's advice is for your benefit or theirs try to think about what might be the results after taking up their advice. Think of the consequences and who might benefit more yourself or others. Also, it is important to acknowledge that there are some things you may not feel comfortable sharing with your friends; which has nothing to do with the trust you feel towards them.
- Material/Financial boundaries- Sometimes I myself struggle with asking money back from my friends. But this can lead to people taking advantage of your goodwill intentionally or unintentionally. And also it may risk your financial well-being. You should also set boundaries while lending your stuff to people; with an agreement of giving it back in time and treating the belongings with care and responsibility. There’s no shame in asking to return something that belongs to you.
- Sexual boundaries- It could involve anything from asking for consent before being physically intimate to checking in with your partner’s comfort level during sex. You might want to reassess limitations and expectations surrounding things like frequency of sex and contraception use.
Tips to establish boundaries-
Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, it’s hard to have your needs met if you don’t know what they are. Reflecting on your values and beliefs is a good place to start. By gaining a more thorough understanding of yourself, you can begin to imagine the types of boundaries you need.
Knowing how to effectively communicate your needs to others is important. Rushed conversations, poor wording, and vague requests can make it harder for loved ones to understand and respect your ground rules. Consider timing. Be prepared. Consider the delivery. Be clear. And address feedback.
Not everyone in your life is going to respect your boundaries all of the time. A partner might accidentally cross one or difficult family members might do so intentionally. Restate your needs. Have clear and reasonable consequences for crossing a boundary. Only state consequences that you’re willing to enforce.
To know more about effective communication in relationships read Here
Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships By Sheldon Reid
Tags: #relationship #boundaries #HealthyBoundaries #SelfCare #MentalPeace #trust #EmotionalBoundaries #SexualBoundaries #StableRelationship #PhysicalBoundaries